So...like...were you guys trying??

WARNING- Rated R (the word sex is mentioned once. well now twice)


This title makes me laugh. That has to be one of the rudest questions. Ever. I'll just answer it now and get it over with. Yes, my husband and I are very happy, and are...ahem...active. There. But actually yes, we were "trying" to conceive again because our son is just so dang cute. I also was encouraged by seeing a lot of cute babies around. AND , although I was concerned I would have Hyperemesis again, many trusted individuals assured me by saying "Every pregnancy is different," and "I was so sick with my daughter, but not with my son!" I took these comments as encouragement because 1. I wanted to believe it.   2. I forgot how much Hyperemesis ruins your life  and  3. I dismissed the fact that the people who said these things didn't truly understand what Hyperemesis is and how it affects one's body and mind.

So now I will bring you, my faithful reader, (Bueller? Bueller?) up to speed on what has occurred so far. Luke and I found out I was pregnant freakishly early, thank you to www.early-pregnancy-tests.com and KellyG, who introduced me to them. I'm talking.. early. Like two weeks after conception early. Is that even possible?? The only rationale I can come up with is that when I was pregnant with our first, I went in for my first OB visit, where they did a test to confirm. The nurse said "WHOA! You're REALLY pregnant!" So I'm guessing that means I produce a LOT of that pregnancy hormone. This makes sense because one theory researchers have for Hyperematics is that there's an overproduction of that hormone. Anyway, I was excited and terrified. All of the sudden "ohhhhhh crap" started going through my mind as I remembered...wait.. this wasn't fun before... But... "Too late now, so I'll just cherish each day. I'll tackle this problem early by getting ahead of the game!" I took organic vitamins like a good little girl, increased my water intake, went cold turkey on my daily Large Hot Caramel Mocha from McD's, ate lots of veggies and fruit, and thought happy thoughts. Oh, and of course, kept my secret - while I could!

That lasted for 2 or 3 weeks. The Glory Days.

And then began the puke fest. Ahh yes. Time to change my thinking before I eat "How will this taste coming back up?" Goodbye Mexican food. Yuk, right? Everyone knows salsa burns the second time around. But did you also know that if you puke rice, a lot of it ends up in your nose? Then you're blowing your nose and puking again, AS you're blowing your nose. How about barfing chicken salad? It actually still looks exactly the same when it comes up. Exactly the same. This was really fun because I was in the process of moving my classroom (yes, a mid year classroom move) so everything was in boxes and I was attempting to figure out how to fit all my desks in a much smaller amount of space. So it kinda went like this: move a desk, puke, repeat. That's a lot of desks. That's a lot of puking. That was Wednesday, November 14th. I haven't been back to work since. Unfortunately, I didn't get to have a really cute annoucement to family and friends. I cried on the phone to my mom, "Mom, I'm pregnant again. And it's bad."

By the way, this isn't any puking. It's the loud, retching kind that throws our your back. Without any medication at all, I will, without a doubt vomit every 30 minutes around the clock. All day. All night. That's if I lay perfectly still. If I make any movement, think about anything gross, there's more puking. I will die of starvation or dehydration. Therefore, I can't live without my medicine. I hate medicine...so much.

 Anyway, since then, I have been to the hospital for IV fluids 5 times, each treatment a minimum of 5 hours. I can't stand up longer than a few minutes without feeling like I'm going to pass out or fall over. The only time I have left the hospital feeling actually "improved" was the time I was there almost 24 hours, in labor and delivery. That time, the first nurse was kind of a bia - and looked at me like "I know your type.. the kind that overreacts. How pathetic." She never said that, but of course I'm gifted in mind reading. She gave me some ice chips and a few crackers to try. I puked those up pretty quickly. Ha. That showed her!

I have tried an array of medications: Zofran, Reglan, Phenergan and OTC's like Benedryl, Claratin, Pepcid, Colace.  When getting fluids, my Dr. (who has been wonderful) makes me a nice little cocktail drip in addition to my sodium/potassium bag that somewhat relieves nausea: Zofran, pepcid, benedryl, vitamin B6.

I could be in the hospital getting fluids daily if I was really calling the doctor every time I needed him. He has instructed me to call immediately if I'm not urinating every 2 hours. Yeah.. well... that's every 2 hours then. I pick and choose the calls when I REALLY need it.

So now I have a PICC line on my right upper arm so that I can get fluids as needed at home and I have a home care nurse that comes occasionally to change the dressing. Getting the PICC was an interesting and horrifying experience. I thought a PICC line was just a fancy IV. I was a little shocked when the nurse showed me the tube (catheter) that would be pushed through a vein from my arm  to about 2 inches from my heart. Unfortunately, I have a fear of people touching my veins. I don't even like people looking at them. It makes me sweat. What if someone rips a vein out and chews on it?? Ah!!! Anyway, the first two tries in my left arm were unsuccessful and very painful. I could feel her trying the jab the line through my body..under the armpit and it kept getting stuck. Blood everywhere. Of course by the third try in my other arm, I was shivering - teeth chattering, blue as a madame blueberry, head spinny and terrified.

Glad that's over... never again. My home nurses showed up last night. Too bad I didn't shower or put on a bra for them. Showering is overrated. Plus it takes ALL of my energy and I can't take the temperature change. It makes me feel worse. Plus I haven't been able to get a brush through my hair for days, and the conditioner doesn't help the fact that it's ratted beyond rat's nest. And my eyebrows look like they did in 7th grade - bushy. I don't think there's actually two brows anymore.... but who's taking the energy to look in a mirror these days? Anyway, the nurses struggled through putting my machine together, which made me more nervous and more nauseated. Plus nights are harder anyway. But pretty soon , my IV was going and I drifted into angry sleep with my zofran/pepcid/benedryl bag. In a fanny pak to travel.  Maybe, just maybe, I can return to work after Christmas break. But then I'd have to shower. And move. Ughhh. we'll see.

I've somewhat gotten over the "I want to die" feelings, and I've wished and wished I would miscarry. I'm now accepting the fact that my life will be horrible for the next 6 months. Oh ....by the way, I'm only 9.5 weeks currently. So...long...to...go.